Disney Couture for Women

Yours for only $59.95.  Plus shipping and handling.

I'm not sure if Ariel's sultry glance is the right fashion choice for me.
I'll probably stick with the "Princess Evil Queen" top.  
 
The design rings a little of the Virgin/Whore dichotomy.
But it's only $39.95!  
The Disney website describes the above top as:

Fitted Tee
The Evil Queen strikes fear in the heart of the fleeing Snow White and provides unmistakable style on our flirty, floaty, fashionable Evil Queen Top by Disney Couture.

If I could only find one in 3T, Miss C and I could coordinate. 

Books: Step 1,2,3

1. Complicate Their Thinking:

 Just seeing the cover of this book confused my daughter.

Is this Cinderella? 
Where are the talking mice?
Why is her hair not yellow?  
The godmother goes to the ball?
The prince has a name?  And his name is Paul??

She kept opening and closing the book, checking the cover as if for clues.

Good.

At the end of the third read, we talked about the fact that there are many different ways to tell the story of Cinderella, and that the story can change depending on where it's coming from.


2. Strong Princess, No Prince Necessary:

 Best part about this book?
There's no accompanying underwear.
Also, the princess rides a warthog.
And has a pet porcupine.  
Life doesn't get much better than that.
  
3.  Finally, Real Women:
These two books about artist Georgia O'Keefe have been heavy in our rotation:

 Best part of both books?
Georgia embraces getting old.
Remember that notion?
Me neither.

 My Name is Georgia.  And, Through Georgia's Eyes.
Buy beautiful books.
Preferably, ones that don't come with bras and panties. 

Miley Cyrus: Livin' the Dream (In Captivity)

Girls from preschool to preteen have fallen in love with Hannah Montana, a love affair that Gary Marsh, president of Disney Channel, described as "beyond our wildest expectations". The series premier scored record ratings for Disney with 5.4 million viewers. 


In one of her popular songs, Just Like You, Miley Cyrus, who plays Hannah, sings:

Can't you see
I'm just an ordinary girl
Living in an extra-ordinary world
Trying to live
Trying to learn
Trying to just be who I am
Who I am


I got everything I've always wanted
Living the dream (the dream)
So yeah, everything I've always wanted (always wanted)
isn't always what it seems

Keep this in mind: the average age of a girl attending a Hannah Montana concert is 8.  
But it is not uncommon for there to be 3 and 4 year olds in attendance.
It is unusual for there to be 17 year olds at her concert.
(In a recent interview with Ryan Seacrest, Cyrus stated that her average fan is her age: 17).

Little girls who have been religiously following their favorite teen pop star will be able to see her make her debut into womanhood, which apparently involves peacock feathers, a cage, breast grabbing, laying prone, and then calling the video "a collaborative effort."


For your viewing pleasure:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjSG6z_13-Q

I wonder how that collaborative effort went:


Cyrus: So.We're making a video.  And I know that you care about me, and have my best interests at heart.  Give me some ideas. 

Producers: Well, we could dress you in feathers, lock you in a cage, and have you grab your breasts.

Cyrus:  Perfect.  

Producers: It will be different from all other videos.  It will stand alone.  It will be edgy, and when you are interviewed, you can call it "edgy".  You can talk about how your viewers, the ones who are 17, have been following you.

Cyrus: Yeah, that's just what I was thinking.  Because my viewers are 17.  High school seniors.

Producers: Yes.  That's right.  They'll be going off to college soon, and taking their Hannah Montan blankies with them.  
 

Producers: And also their Hannah Montana doll.

 

 Producers: Remember: say edgy a lot.  And also, make sure to say that although the video is sexy, the lyrics are what are important. You could also say how this is unique work for a female artist.

Cyrus: Okay.  Edgy.  And lyrics.  How old did you say my fans are?

Producers: 17.  Say edgy again.

Cyrus: Edgy.

Producers: Great.  You're one of a kind.  You are a different female artist.  Now, go talk to the press.



 

Taking Life Way Too Seriously Since 1978

I have a brother---well, a couple of brothers, actually---but one in particular who often lets me know I need to lighten up.
Some things I've heard from him are, "Seriously, lighten up."
And, "You take life waaaaay too seriously."
And, in our earlier days, it was, "Dude, take a chill pill."

So, here I am writing about Princesses!
And how they're going to ruin the world!
Or at least, your kid!
They may be cute, but don't trust them with your life.  They'll castrate you in a split second.

The truth is, as we've undergone Recovery here at our home, I think less and less about the DP's.  It's kind of a relief.  Because there were moments I was sure I was a woman coming undone.  I found myself scowling at Belle in the grocery store.  Shaking my fist at Cinderella (on the inside).
And who wants to go after the swirly figures that little girls lust after?
Not I.
But then...
My child was waking up at 3 am bawling, "I can't be a princess....without looooooonnngg haaaiiir!"
Kids take life seriously, why shouldn't we?
And like all Serious People, I will find others who agree with me. 
And quote them.
Take George Gerbner, for example:

For the first time in human history, children are hearing most of the stories, most of the time, not from their parents or school or churches or neighbors, but from a handful of global conglomerates that have something to sell.

It is impossible to overestimate the radical effect that this has on the way our children grow up, the way we live, and the way we conduct our affairs. 

From Reclaiming Our Cultural Mythology

Impossible.  To.  Overestimate. 
I think that's another way of saying, "Don't lighten up."
No chill pills allowed.

Judging a Book by It's Cover

A few weeks ago I was at the bookstore with Miss C.  I stood in the children's section, thumbing through a novel, while I watched her walk around.  In short order she ran over to me and excitedly thrust a book into my hand: "Read this.  Um, please."

This was the book:

I'm pretty sure that the term "perfect wedding" predates the term bridezilla.  And groomzilla.  Before you strive for perfection, there has to be an idea, or ideal of perfection.  Let's get started young!   
I retitled the book, read her my own version (Cinderella Contemplates Marriage), and went back to my novel.  But she returned, with this:

  At least she's showing sequential thinking.  I retitled this one (Everybody Dances in Circles!), and after reading it, closed my novel and redirected her to the Berensteain Bears.  Mixed in with her favorite, harmless cubs was a treasure trove of further DP books.  She wanted another, and I scanned for one that might have some morsel of use.

In this article I mentioned, Orenstein tries to explain her disdain toward a DP to her young daughter,
“It’s just, honey, Cinderella doesn’t really do anything.”

But she was wrong.

According to what I found in the bookstore, here is what Disney Princesses do:


They play make-believe bride...

They dress for the ball...

They wear bling....

They're pretty....

They have wedding fantasies...

They buy more bling.....

They get make-overs....

And they're pretty and polite and have impeccable manners:

 

They do A LOT.

Oh O

Two years ago, I was gifted with a subscription to O magazine.
It arrives heavy and shiny in our mailbox each month.
And I consistently read at least two parts of it: the guest essayist, and Martha Beck.
This month the magazine celebrated it's 10th anniversary. 
On the last page, Oprah recounts this:

When we started publishing this magazine, I had no great expectations.  I was clueless about the business of magazine publishing.  Sometime during the first few months, I actually said to our then editor in chief,  "Maybe we should lose some of the ads.  There are just too many of them." 

I was immediately set straight on that point.  We exist because of the ads.  "Oooookay." 

This issue had 140 advertisements.  So before I got to things such as this:

"Become more accepting...surrender any tendency to judge...pray for an accepting heart."




I got to see things like this:

 As a friend of mine said, "When even Oprah shrinks instantly in the face of the all-powerful advertising industry,we should all be terrified." 
Because isn't Oprah a kajillion-billionaire?


Thankfully, I've developed a more accepting heart, and I accept the images without question. 
I for one, am immune to advertising. 

Methadone

 Up until this month, I'd never purchased anything for my daughter at Toys R Us.

We tend to acquire toys three ways:
1. as birthday/holiday gifts
2. through garage sales/curb cruising
3. hand-me-downs

So, standing in line at Toys R Us, with a new, tags-on, purple princess dress draped over my arm,  I found myself prone to mood swings.  At one moment, elated that I'm taking a more active role in replacing the poorly scripted toys with ones that match our values.  At another moment, I'm annoyed that I'm out buying crap in order to lure my daughter's mind from where we never intended her mind to be in the first place.
 
Then I am up, it is my turn to pay.  I plunk down the dress and the woman behind me leans forward, "Oooh, that's a pretty one.  Who is it?"  She is searching the dress for that small but powerful piece of plastic that tells us which DP dress this is.  Her eyes are still scanning, as she shares, "My daughter's favorite is Cinderella."

Really?  Because that's my daughter's favorite too!  And I'm right now headed home to throw away her favorite princess dress.


The swap:
 generic (with our own added story)                          

instead of scripted

And Snow White is replaced by this dress:

C loves the tassels and beads, and I love telling her about American Indian Pow-wows and fancy dance competitions.  (We'll get to colonization and holocaust eventually.  One thing at a time.)