Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Action (iv)

This action takes 7 seconds.  I timed it.

The strangeness of the situation still strikes me.

Imagine coming from gastric bypass surgery, or an appendectomy, or your scheduled lobotomy, and waiting for a post-op on how things went, and then having your surgeon end the update with, "Also, don't forget to sign up for free coupons to Home Depot.  Here's your Home Depot jacket.  It's waterproof, with thermal pockets."

Let's see if we can take 17 unrelated things and throw them together in the maternity ward.  Because entering parenthood is not confusing enough. 

The hospital where I had Miss C, along with every hospital in this area, has signed on to this deal.  And though I had a good experience there, I also brought a doula with me.  She was sort of like a bouncer.  She ran interference, talked with the staff, brought me juice, and helped Dave to help me.  At one point, in the thick of things, I was sitting buck naked on a giant exercise ball, and the door to the delivery room flew open and in walked a medical student.  Nothing against medical students, because many of them become doctors that help people.  Except this guy was so excited.  To see a natural childbirth.  That he just couldn't stop talking about it to me.  In a loud and enthusiastic voice.

"Good job you're doing great look at you go what a good job lookin' good you're looking goooooood!"

Since the power of speech had left me back at 8 centimeters, I just held on as he bobbed from side to side, like a cheerleader on speed.

My doula was swift, got in my face and asked, "Do you want him in here?"

I shook my head, and the happy man was escorted out.  Never to return.

I think she is the one who should help escort Disney out, gently but firmly.


  1. I love the comparison with other sorts of surgery! I don't think that they would put up with it - post surgical patients are too delicate! But mums and dads (and babies!) ... open season!

  2. You might be interested in this post on Kveller.com http://www.kveller.com/blog/parenting/babys-first-racist-comment/#comments

    It made me think if you're going to expose your kids to racist material you'd be better off showing them Leni Riefenstahl films. At least then the cinematography would be better and they'd get the impression that women can do something other than waiting to be saved by princes.

  3. Everything about Disney in the maternity ward bothers me to no end.

  4. Hi Mary!

    I have read this blog before and found it very interesting.

    I have a question. I really really love Disney. I love the films and parks a products! However, I am opposed to thier excessive marketing. As a 19-year-old college student working with children, and studying Early Childhood Education, I know the effects it can have. I was just wondering if I sign this petition, do you think I would be being a hypocrite? Everyone know's me as a Disney lover, but I just feel this marketing is going to far!


  5. lavendersparkle---this made me laugh. (Not the post, but your cinematography standards!)

    Mari--Sorry for the delay, just seeing this.

    I think relationships can be complicated. Since you're asking my opinion: you can love a person, or a thing (a company) but still have standards about how they behave. If someone you're dating, who you really really like, begins to make snide comments every time you do well on a test, you can still really like them but also point out to them that their words/actions are hurtful, and see what they choose to do with that information. It's a boundary issue, as far as I see it.

  6. Mary,

    Thanks so much for your help! :)