Friday, August 6, 2010

Princess Parent Groups: Are You Still Sexy???

Three question marks seems about right.

The Disney family website hosts a group called Princess Parent Group.

Not sure if it's right for you?  Read the intro to see if it's a fit:
Is it a whole new world with Jasmine at your house? How about Ariel? Do you scour the stores looking for her favorite princess stuff? Do these questions make you grin? Then you fit right in with other parents raising a princess.
There are currently 254 members, and then "family host" members, who pose questions, such as:

"Do you let your princess wear a bikini?"

"Has your princess met a princess?"

"Have you pierced your princess' ears?"

"Although every other day of the year is about your little princess, Mother's Day is when YOU get to be the Queen!  So what did your castle do for you?"

"Plan a princess pampering day.  If you had $50, would you get a manicure together?  Or go to a movie?"

There are also threads tackling these topics:

"Help your princess click with the clique"

"Provocative Princess."
This is a really smart marketing tool, because many of the questions revolve around which products your princess has, or which ones you'll get her.  Once parents have been thoroughly schooled on what experiences their daughter is missing out on (haven't met a princess yet?  Better get to Disney!), they can then move on to content that is specific to their adult needs.

Here's today's special topic: Are You Still Sexy?

If you're not interested in finding out if you are still sexy (but how can you go on with your day?  If you don't know??? If  you're still sexy???????),  I'll share with you my favorite question:

How regularly do you get a bikini wax?

a. Once, fortunately I'm very good with a razor.
b. I don't even have a bikini, why would I need a wax?
c. I have a standing bi-monthly appointment at the place where I get my upper lip bleached, my lower lips plumped, and my brows plucked and shaped.

Because, many clinical studies have found, having your lips plumped and your pubic hair properly shaped has been linked to a more satisfying and vibrant sex life.

I think my favorite part of the quiz is that on the sidebar, these are the flashing advertisements:

Hershey's chocolate bars
Abilify (try 2 weeks free!)
Clinique Dark Spot Correcting lotion (in which speckled eggs are used to demonstrate what your skin looks like now, as in Before, as in gross, you have speckled bird egg face! And how will you get your daughter to click with the clique?  And does your provocative princess wear a bikini?  And do you wax regularly?)

No wonder Abilify is on there, good night.


  1. I clicked through the quiz and some of the questions made me gag.

    Q: "What's your guilty pleasure?" A: "Five minutes of alone time."

    Um, excuse me? Having five minutes - five minutes! - to herself is supposed to make a mother feel guilty?

    And does wanting alone time somehow have bearing on your sexiness? I just don't get it.

  2. WOW that is just disturbing. What a sad...sad quality of life.

  3. I actually thought you were kidding about the sexy quiz. Shame on me? This is 17 magazinen (attempted to be) revamped for moms. Because we should all have the same mindset at 3o or 35 we did at 20, right? Wow.

  4. I read "has your princess met a princess?" as talking about your child's sexuality at first.