Thursday, July 1, 2010

Luscious Lashes

A few weeks ago I was at CVS buying some sunblock.  As I peered at the 23 different types of lotion, a woman walked by me.  I glanced up briefly, my line of vision broken, and did a triple take.  The woman had the longest eyelashes I have ever seen.  Ever.  In my life.  And she looked a combination of bizarre and downright scary.  The lashes must have been glued on somehow, and I was so disturbed by the visual, wondering how she blinks, or rubs her eye when it itches, or washes her face.  Does one remove their enormously long false eyelashes before going to bed?  And if not, what if your eyes are glued shut when you wake up in the morning?
Then what?

Then last week, I ran to the grocery store one night for bread and milk and ice cream.  As I zipped down an aisle to dairy, I skidded to a halt in front of this sign, because it was exactly what the woman looked like:
And then didn't I feel silly.
Because that woman in CVS had celebrity lashes, but I just didn't know it.

This is one of those fads that I will not even pretend to understand, not even a little bit.  I cannot fathom what is comely about the appearance of a large spider perched above one's eyeball.

Another shopper wandered up to the sign, stared for a moment, then said, "If this counts as beauty, I'll take a pass on that class."


  1. "If this counts as beauty, I'll take a pass on that class." I'm with her. :-)

    What place does overdone, "LOOK AT ME" have in everyday life? Going out "on the town" (something that I sadly waived good-bye to long ago), being on the stage or in movies...fine. But, really...who needs celebrity lashes to go about their day? And, why is the assumtion there that we're all just dying to be like a celebrity?

    I feel like I sound old. There clearly is a segment of the population who places a high value on being as "posh", "trendy" and "hip" as possible or else things like these lashes, tabloids and TMZ wouldn't exist. Once upon a time, I probably cared too but it's funny how age and life experience gives you perspective on what's really important in life. Friends, family, health and being happy in your own skin. Not spider like eyelashes.

  2. This life of mine---
    "Why is the assumption that we're all just dying to be like a celebrity?"
    That's a great question.

    I'm at a Media Institute in Boston right now, and as one sociologist here stated, "We're no longer keeping up with the Jones'. We're keeping up with the celebrities." Our new norm is the culture created in Hollywood, despite its absolute unattainability.

  3. Stuff like that strikes me as to beauty as a lot of those art-fashion shows are to actual street fashion. They're more artistic than realistic, for nothing more than making a statement or trying to glam up ones body in the sense of making it an art project.

    Problem is, too many people don't actually get that, and actually think that distorting the body is the best and only way to make it "beautiful."

  4. I live in Japan, where purikura (print club) is a fun thing to do with my friends. Aimed mostly at 15-25-year-old women, you pose with friends in a photo booth with fun backgrounds and decorate your photos with words, pictures, accessories. There is a SCARY "celebrity eyelash" one near me, and another than adjusts your eyes to look huge.

    My friend and I found and chose one of the set phrases on the machine. It reads, "I am a meat-eating girl," which means "I wear the pants" (in contrast to herbivore men, the new "Oh, no, men are getting femmey!" phrase).

  5. I wish guys had more options like this. I treat clothing choices as opportunities to wear fun costumes. Some days I look like a starving artist, others a greaser, others a skater, or any number of other looks. I feel that clothing and appearance should allow me to have fun.

    Something like this seems an awesome thing to do for yourself - because it's fun.